I am not against any genre of film, so long as it is not stupid. A film can be any setting and premise if the characters are interesting and act like human beings. In real life, when we are presented with reason, we strive to learn from our mistakes and seek to make a change. “50 Shades of Grey,” a film that is supposed to a romantic drama, results in a comedy with a laughable script, confusing themes, and character motivations that are incoherent.
 So how do you make a film whose source material has been received negatively, yet sold millions? It is simple. You try to make it artistic. Keyword, try. It is important to note that I never read the book, so I went into this movie cold turkey, and after watching the it, it took me a couple days to wrap my mind around it.
There is one major positive about this film. Director Sam Taylor-Johnson and cinematographer Seamus McGarvey composed great shots. The lighting, the transitions and the sound design are very impressive. The film succeeds in the technical side of things. The problem is the script and the characters.
Our protagonist, Anastasia Steele, played exceptionally by Dakota Johnson, is a senior in college, maintains a 4.0, and generally keeps to herself. She is given an assignment to interview Christian Grey, a billionaire businessman played by Jamie Dornan. From the moment they are introduced, things are awkward, the dialogue is questionable, and the chemistry is forced. Christian Grey comes off as cold and distant, yet he claims he really “understands people.” He does not seem approachable, however. The vibe I got from him was “creepy”, and indeed throughout the film, he arrives in the most random places and surprises Ana. At least twice, Ana calls him disturbing, and if a woman ever says some is disturbing her, it is usually not a good sign. She seems annoyed by his “gestures”, but for some reason she is flattered. Why? The plot needs her to be interested. Throughout the film, I wondered if Christian's money had anything to do with it. If Christian was poor, and would arrive to wherever she was at any moment, would Ana stick around? Probably not. What is author E.L James saying about women? That they cannot make up their own minds? I was not surprised when I found out that the book originally started as “Twilight” fan-fiction. We have seen those movies. We know there was absolutely no chemistry between Bella and Edward. This story is the same thing, without vampires. In fact, there is a pseudo-Jacob character that gets rejected because he must be rejected. Unlike Christian, he cares for Ana and acts like a human being. According to this script, girls are not into that sort of thing. Again, why? 
 So the big elephant in the script is BDSM. Christian finds pleasure in tying women up and pretending to be their sex owner. BDSM is fine, but a woman has to be into it, or at the very least interested. Ana admits she is a virgin, so what would she know about being tied up and performing sex acts? Persuading a woman into it seems a little overbearing and demanding, especially when it involves whipping someone and stripping a person of their basic rights. It gets so bad that Christian starts interfering with Ana's personal life. The film becomes insulting to women halfway through when Christian says “If you give up your control, you become free.” Au contraire, Mr. Businessman. Controlling someone's destiny is the absence of freedom.
After all of this, Ana becomes frightened, and yells at Christian to stay away from her. This entire premise just does not work at all. If you want to tell a story about kinky sex acts, fine. But you need make sure your characters are strong enough to make their own choices, and that both characters respects those choices. When Ana tries to back out on multiple occasions, Christian gets even more controlling and takes it out on her. Are we as an audience supposed to feel sorry for their love not working out? What is the author saying about men? The film attempts to justify this lack of connection with Christian's character by presenting a back-story where Christian was a sex slave as a young child, but eventually befriended his master. That is not how things work in the real world, unfortunately. When someone in real life is abused and tortured, the logical thing to do is either call the police and/or stay far away from the person who committed those acts. “50 Shades” glamorizes dominating people.
 Now, this personal turmoil would be fine if we knew Christian as a person previously, and if we could relate to him. The structure of the script is the problem, and I am sure the audience would have liked the characters if Christian was not taking his problems out on women, and if Ana could stand up for herself.
While the film is, ironically, pleasing to the eyes, the script is bad, the characters are not well-developed, and frankly, it is insulting to both genders. But what irks me is how stylistic the film tries to be. There are several memorable visual moments that would have been much more effective if it was backed by a strong script.“50 Shades of Grey” is not art. It is commercial garbage. Save your money, folks. If you want to see a BDSM romantic film done right, watch “Secretary” with Maggie Gyllenhaal.

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