Society is obsessed with the dating lives of women in the music industry. Fans of female pop stars have been accused of being parasocial and crazy, but in recent years, their haters take the cake. The obsession with these women’s personal lives has reached an all-time high. Because of this, women like Sabrina Carpenter, Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift are routinely defined by their dating lives, rather than their talent.

Sabrina Carpenter

In 2021, Sabrina Carpenter was involved in drama with fellow Disney Channel stars

Olivia Rodrigo and Joshua Bassett. The drama was a result of Rodrigo’s debut single, “Driver’s License,” that was allegedly about a breakup between her and Bassett. The song mentioned a blond girl, and fans immediately connected the dots. They began harassing and threatening Carpenter within days of the release, despite there being no proof that she did anything to directly harm Rodrigo. 

Of course, like most internet scandals, people eventually realized that this was most likely a publicity stunt to promote these artists and their new music. The public realization did not come quick enough for Carpenter, though. As a result of the abuse from the internet, Carpenter released two singles, “Skin,” and “because i liked a boy,” regarding the entire situation and calling out people on the internet for the things they have said to her. While the drama affected each member of the love triangle, Carpenter was made out to be the “villain” even though Bassett was the alleged topic of most of Rodrigo’s music. The situation still follows her to this day and was an unfortunate contributor to the level of fame she has now. 

Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande has had her fair share of scandals, but her most recent one seems to be many individuals’ last straw. After around two years of marriage, Grande divorced her husband, Dalton Gomez. Soon after the couple split, rumors spread that Grande was now dating her “Wicked” co-star, Ethan Slater. People quickly figured out that Slater left his wife and child to pursue this relationship and Grande began to receive lots of hate and was accused of “homewrecking.” Homewrecking is the act of attempting to separate a couple. While the situation is quite messy, there have been no indications of Grande being an active homewrecker. One would think that the man who left his family would be the person being held accountable, rather than the woman he left them for. However, Grande has been the victim of most if not all the hate that blossomed because of the relationship. 

The public loves to have a woman to bully, so this news quickly spread to the entire internet. It has gotten to the point at which, if Grande is mentioned in any setting, all anyone can respond with is their opinions on her relationship. Sometimes, people reveal that they can no longer listen to her music because of the drama. Grande, known to clap back through her music, released a new single, “yes, and?” in response. In this song, she owned her choices and addressed the haters directly, which was downright iconic.

Taylor Swift

Swifties and haters alike have been enthralled with Taylor Swifts’ love life throughout her entire career. Every step she takes is picked apart and made into theories surrounding whoever she may be dating at any given time. However, the media has been especially outspoken since her relationship with Travis Kelce went public.

Swift is dating the tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs. Living through a famous pop star dating a famous football player was supposed to feel like a real-life fairytale, but has proven to be the opposite. People, primarily men, took the relationship as a green light to hate on Swift and her fans at a degree they never have before. The hate is nothing new for her, but the media has arguably not been this obsessed since 2016. 

Swift’s fans have also taken her romantic endeavors too far. Recently, Swifties have been incredibly parasocial in terms of her and Kelce’s relationship, and this is not a first offense. Swifties have been attacking exes and creating theories for over a decade. While some of the men who receive this hate may deserve it, most are just victims of the odd infatuation society has with pop stars and their relationships.  

These women’s experiences, as well as many others, have made the double standard that they face increasingly obvious. It is rare to hear anyone discussing who a man in the music industry is dating. In fact, it is unlikely that I even know who my favorite male artists are currently with. Very few are immune to the infatuation with a female pop star’s relationship status, but there is a healthy way to approach it. The line between constructive criticism and blatant slander is blurring day by day at the expense of these women.

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