Stand-up comedian Greg Warren performed at the Luhrs Performing Arts Center on March 6, bringing an hour’s worth of laughs to a large audience.

Warren covered many topics, from wrestling to Walgreens, and his rapid onslaught of jokes kept the crowd entertained throughout.

Tyler Beck served as Warren’s opener, getting the crowd warmed up with a short set focused on his experiences as a new dad. Standout topics included being reprimanded in public for how he fed grapes to his child and learning the proper spelling of orangutan thanks to his child’s book.

Warren took the stage from there, starting with a discussion on the dangers of nature, particularly poison ivy and snakes. He talked about the sayings like “If it’s three, let it be,” joking that no one has time to recite poetry when a snake is crawling on oneself.

He then cracked jokes about how being in Walgreens late at night was about the same as being in an abandoned store. He then went on to say it is still better than in the day, as older gentlemen aren’t holding up the line while they have random conversations with the cashier.

Warren’s next topic was about his days as a college wrestler. His coach always made fun of his match from freshman year against Northern Iowa. He even joked that it was the reason why he never married, as the coach would speak up to stop the wedding due to how pathetic he was.

His next bit got the biggest laugh of the night, talking about high school sports compared to when he was in school. He discussed how Illinois has fishing as an official sport and imitated some of the cheers that fishing cheerleaders would have to do.

Warren played the clarinet in his high school’s marching band and riffed about that for a little while. He went on to ask a couple former high school band members in the audience what they played, being stunned when someone said the piccolo.

He later joked about his first job out of college, being a salesman for Jif Peanut Butter. Warren ranted about organic peanut butter and poked fun at Peter Pan. He also asked a couple audience members what peanut butter they buy. This led to a hilarious moment with one gentleman admitting he did not know what brand he ate, with Warren begging him to have some free will in life.

Warren rounded out his set with some jokes about his time living in New York City. This ended with Warren talking about how he met the greatest lyricist in the world, a woman on the subway who only sang, “All I want for Christmas is a fiiiiiiiish sandwich!” repeatedly. He joked that he could not remember a single Taylor Swift song, but “Fish Sandwich” was stuck in his head for months.

Warren brought a fantastic hour of comedy to warm up the audience on a cold night, and he kept them laughing throughout.

Probably don’t need this at all.

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